Q & A - Restoring confidence and stopping tantrums
Question - I have a daughter who is 8 years old and she lacks at lot of confidence within herself, she does have a lot of tantrums when she gets frustrated (it is a wonder you can't hear her!!). She has told me she wants to be a popular girl at school which I am trying to help her in by building up her confidence but she always seems to have negative thoughts/answers which as a mother can break my heart. I am trying to get her to stand up for herself as some of the girls at school can be quite nasty and she said she is too scared to speak her mind.
Can you suggest any of your downloads which might help her blossom into the beautiful child I know she will become?
Answer - Your daughter needs to understand that popularity will come when she feels wonderful about herself and when she is living the life she wants to lead, not "trying to be popular". People will naturally gravitate to your daughter when she acts in such a way that others can see she feels good about herself. She will naturally then be fun to be around (tantrums are not in the category =).
Negativity is not something that should be looked upon as a natural state of mind (and you can share with her that her negativity will not make her popular). I know that you truly want what's best for her, and you want her to achieve everything she wants as well.
When negativity becomes an issue in my home, we play the Payback Game - For every negative statement said, a positive must follow. Kids balk at first, but it does work, and it gets them out of their negative mood. Try it! (it's even good for adults when we're not in an emotional place we want to be). The One with the Universe CD is helpful for building up self-confidence and clearing out negativity. Our Magical Journey Within CD or MP3 audio download It also works with visualizations in the second track which will help her with all areas of her life (including school and friends!) So I would HIGHLY recommend that CD or MP3 for her.
Also know that standing up for herself and 'speaking her mind' (so to speak) will come naturally when SHE feels confident in who she is and accepts & loves herself fully. If she scared to speak up, it may be about feeling like she will experience even more rejection. Building her self-confidence will help her choose better friends and will also help her care less about others meaningless or hurtful words.
Don't be disheartened. Parenting is all about finding out what works and then applying it! No one can do it by themselves. Parents need a support system, and we need tools and techniques! I hope I have provided some for you here!